Chapter 1
Ari
One.
One week since I found my dad. Alive.
Since I realized I was a Collector.
I collected the soul of the guy I loved.
Not much changed in seven days. I was unconscious for
the first four. I'd spent the next three wishing I was comatose with
no such luck. Everyone walked around on pins and needles thinking I'd
lose it. They hadn't figured out I was already gone. Emotions beat
the crap out of me a week ago, ditched me, and left darkness in their
wake.
The Watchers would come for me because my blood was a
commodity to Ez. I'm a freaking pawn, and I'm sick of my life being
on everyone elses terms. I'm his weapon against the Guardians,
threatening their lives with the power I possess to collect souls.
The Guardians wanted to keep me in this small square crazy box they
tried to pass as a room, and it felt more like a cell as the seconds
ticked by in my mind. Their reason? To ensure I wouldn't hurt anyone
on accident.
My impending death grows daily. None except the healers
are allowed in my room which only abates my sanity. I needed to talk
to Jesse, but he wasn't there. Our connection severed the moment his
soul was in my possession. My light, my very being, snapped; I can't
feel him any more.
Because I killed him.
No matter how many times I repeated those words and knew
their truth, they played like a movie on repeat in my brain. I felt
the cold concrete under my legs, saw myself bent over Jesse's limp
frame knowing I was the cause.
My soul was fractured beyond repair, much like a once
extraordinary vase someone took in their hands, raised above their
head, only to let go, watching gravity unleash destruction. I
spiraled down in the same way, and crashed into a million pieces. No
matter who tries to glue the jagged shards back together, a
fragmented vase would perpetually be a shell of its former self.
I'm a shell of my former self.
Panic attacks woke me every time I slept. Screams clawed
their way up my throat, never releasing the torture stuck inside.
Then darkness came. It wrapped around me as a familiar old blanket
comforting me, but my mind wouldn't forget. I accepted each
individual punishment my body dealt out. The healers tried to force
medication down my throat with the promise of relaxation and sleep,
but I refused.
I killed him. I don't deserve any consolation.
My dad vacillated between begging me to get a hold of
myself, and threatening to send me away if I couldn't snap out of the
dark hole I'd gladly slipped into. When he came in my room I either
pretended to be asleep or sat unresponsively staring at the wall. I
was extremely glad he was alive, but I needed time. And onyx shadows.
Darkness brings solace.
I heard dad and the healers talking outside my room
daily, wondering what else they could do for me. Listening to the
same crap every day knowing they'd never come up with anything to
help me was tedious.
Today felt different. A familiar luminescent energy
reached for my own, and I lay back in the bed closing my eyes. My
muscles didn't relax completely, but the darkness caressing my skin
was pushed away. It had been an excruciatingly long time since I felt
relief from the torment ricocheting inside my head.
Cam is here.
The door opened slowly letting a sliver of light from
outside gradually stretch the length of the room. I didn't want the
light to touch me, it was a trader. It wouldn't help me save Jesse so
why would I welcome it back into my life now?
Cam took my hand as his fingers laced with mine brushing
the ring he gave me with his life essence swirling inside the stone.
It might be the single thing keeping me sane and marginally blocking
the effects of the darkness threatening to drown me.
As his fingertips languidly ran up and down my arm I
felt the shadows around me uncoil. For the first time in the three
days I'd been sentient I felt like breathing again. Cam slid one arm
under my bare, prone legs behind my knees, and the other behind my
back. Heat radiated off him permeating my thin camisole, and the ease
with which Cam maneuvered me over to one side of the bed was
alarming.
I couldn't open my eyes. They were heavy with the weight
of sleeplessness, heartache, and tears. Cam positioned me on his
chest wrapping his arms around me, and at that moment I realized how
cold my skin had grown when pressed against the warmth of him. “I'm
here, Ari. I'll never leave you,” sweet whispers filled my ears as
Cam dropped feather light kisses along my temple and forehead. “God,
Ari...just let go. Let me help you.” The strain in Cam's voice was
evident.
My body made the decision my brain wouldn't, and I
slipped into a peaceful sleep while Cam's light, his heart and soul,
tried to put me back together. But the darkness inside me was
stronger now and it wouldn't give up without a fight.
© Heather Wiginton October 2013
No comments:
Post a Comment